Starting to get some Clarity

With four months of parenthood under my belt, I feel like I am finally getting a little bit of clarity on the whole stay-at-home-dad situation. Poop filled diapers, baby vomit and absurdly loud-resonating baby farts will do that to you. It's amazing that I can put together a coherent sentence with the lack of sleep that is now the new norm. I've realized though that humans have the ability to adapt. Basically you just get used to the way things are. The new aromas and sounds have settled snuggly into my psyche, and now their absence is somewhat alarming.

Being a stay-at-home-dad is the most aggravating, the most frustrating, and most rewarding thing that I've ever done. Some days I curse the law of physics for taking so long to boil the water that I need to warm the baby's milk so that I can stop the assault of crying. Or cringing at the audible gush of waste that seems to occur not more than two seconds after a fresh diaper change. Then there's just the inconsolability, which is rare thankfully, that comes from the baby just not wanting anything but to cry directly into my face for a few hours.

Then there's the incomparable things that no one could have prepared me for or been able to make me understand with words. One example are the smiles in the morning that almost seem to say, "Hello Again! I'm ready for another day!" And he's got a great smile if I do say so my damn self. Or being able to see the growing awareness in his eyes and the recognition of more things like his bottle or favorite stuffed animal. And of course the subtle signs of an emerging personality. And the intangible things like when he seems at peace in my arms, or looks to me with eyes filled with fear because of a loud strange noise--and there's nothing like being able to comfort that feeling away. The feeling is indescribable. It's amazing and I could never have imagined such a thing existing before.