Camden's Choice

We've taken Camden for a haircut several times now. And although Camden was a little hesitant at first, he's now more like an old man who knows what he's there for and just wants the barber to stay out his way when he's trying to watch the television they have there for him. He'll actually sit fairly still only turning away he gets distracted by something or they spray a little too much water in his face.

At the particular place we go, they have three cars to choose from for toddlers his age to sit in while they get their haircut. There's a red jeep (super tough), there's a yellow race car (super cool), and then there's a pink Barbie car (super pink). Every now and then they'll change them out for new ones, but on this particular day this was the set up.

When it was time for Camden to choose his vehicle, naturally he went with the jeep. The big knobby tires, super-strong roll bar, and sporty lights are very hard for him to resist. He's been crazy about big trucks as long as I can remember. They are sort of his thing. Unfortunately, the jeep was already taken. A fact that didn't matter much to Camden, as he just went ahead and started to climb into the jeep much to the surprise of the other little boy sitting in the jeep getting his haircut.

After bringing him down off the side of the jeep and breaking the news to him that one was already taken, Camden was faced with the choice of either the yellow race car or the pink Barbie car. An interesting choice considering the stereotypical gender issues at play. And this was the moment that I wondered if we'd done a good enough job keeping him free from any gender bias. We didn't go in thinking about this being a test, nor do we live forcing Camden to choose gender neutral items. Instead we just try not get in his way when it comes to making these kinds of choices.

So there we are standing motionless trying not to give any cues to Camden which might alter his choice in any way. Somehow thoughts of my days as a psychology research assistant ran through my head and facts about double-blind studies were getting all jumbled up in there. And now all the employees were now looking on noticing something out of the ordinary was happening. We all waited for what was probably only 5 seconds but seemed much longer. And that's when we all knew, there's a real possibility he's going to pick the pink Barbie car.

There he stood right in the middle of both cars. Looking them over as if he was measuring up the pros and cons of each. Then finally, he made his choice unequivocally. He said, "I want that one!" And he pointed to the pink Barbie car. I was so proud of him. He in no way seem adversed to the Barbie car in any noticeable way. And he in no way seemed swayed by anything other than which car he honestly wanted to try out.

The fact is that I don't really know why he picked the pink Barbie car. All I know is that he considered it and then chose it. He didn't discount it. And for that I am very happy. And I take it as a sign that we have not biased him with gender specific ideas. And that's a big win in my book.