Birth Day: My Son Camden

It's time to dust off the old blog. Facebook just doesn't seem to be the right place to post "Dan's Reality." My last post was before the birth of Camden so here's my reality of that whole situation.

The night before the birth, I stayed up until about 2 am. This turned out to be a bad idea because at about 4 am Tee woke me up because she thought she was having contractions. More than half asleep, I started keeping track of the time. She was having pains that were 4-5 minutes apart. At first, I thought, shouldn't these be further apart? They grew stronger and so we packed up and headed out the hospital.

Luckily, it was still way early in the morning so traffic on the way to the hospital luckily wasn't an issue. We checked in and they took Tee into the pre-labor room where they made sure it was actually go time and not just a false alarm. After about 20 minutes, they called me in and said our son would definitely be born today.

We were moved into the labor and delivery room. It was a private room with a huge waiting area. It was now about 6 am. For the next four hours there was a flurry of activity. The contractions grew and Tee worked through them like a champ. The nurse asked if she wanted an epidural--she declined. It had always been her intention on trying to go without it, but as the contractions grew stronger and much closer together she began to think she might not be able to hold out. Knowing she didn't want the epidural, the nurse offered a milder pain reliever. They wound up giving it to Tee which helped take the edge off the contractions and gave her a chance to rest a little. But after about 20-30 minutes it had worn off.

By the time noon rolled around Tee was already having the overwhelming urge to push. The nurse had been worried that there was still another half-inch of dilation to go. If she pushed too early, she ran the risk of severe injury. But she had been progressing so quickly all morning that we felt it was time. The nurse needed to check her cervix again before they were sure it was time. They were hesitant to check because they had already check several times in the past few hours and with every check came the increased risk of introducing too much bacteria into the birth canal. Plus, they were used to seeing the process take a lot longer and so seemed a bit skeptical about Tee's readiness to deliver. But Tee was definitely ready, or maybe Camden was. The nurse agreed to check and was amazed to find that Tee was fully dilated and completely effaced. The nurse immediately paged the OB who confirmed the situation and jumped into action. It was time to push.

The nurses arranged things in the room and the senior nurse and I each grabbed a leg and started coaching Tee through the pushing. It took about 30 minutes for the baby's head to become visible. It was incredible. Now when Tee pushed, the top of the baby's head would come out a little more and when she stopped pushing, it slipped back in slightly. In all the birthing classes we took no one had ever explained this aspect of delivery. It was by far the most dramatic part. Tee worked so hard to push. For every 2 centimeters she pushed the baby out, it would slip back about one centimeter when she rested.

By now most of the top of the head was visible. The OB told me to get ready because it was very likely now that on the next push the baby's head was going to completely come out--she was right. And in the next moment, the baby's entire head emerged. He was facing down and the OB turned him around. His faced was purple and puffy from being pumped with hormones from the delivery. The next push shoved the baby's arms out and they instantly flew outward as if they were spring loaded. The OB then told me to get ready to reach down and pull the baby out. Without thinking, I grabbed him under each arm and pulled him the rest of the way out.

Pumped with adrenaline I raised the baby up as high as I could similar to the Lion King. The OB said "woah there daddy." I brought him back down and they wrapped him up. He was given the once over and cleaned up so he could lay on Tee's chest. The sweetest part of the birth occurred when Tee got hold of the baby. On her chest she threw her arms around him and held him close, cooing at him with a sound I have never heard her make before. It was absolutely adorable. She was talking to him with lovey sounds. It was at this point that I got the first really good look at him. And it occurred to me that none of the names that we had already picked out were going to work. For the next three days I agonized over finding the right name.

A few hours passed, and we were moved to our recovery room. The next three days were a blur. It was an excruciating, around-the-clock, parade of monitoring. Every 2-3 hours someone was coming in to check on something. By the time we were ready to check out, I was a mere shell of myself. If I had actually slept for any significant amount of time, I might fill in a few lines here about how much the fold out chair I had for a bed sucked.

Nonetheless, it was quite an experience as a whole. We got through it and more importantly Tee and Camden got through it. The nature of child birth can be remarkable. Experiencing the process of human reproduction felt like being part of a giant system of wheels. You got on at one point and got off at another. You rode the wheel through it's progression for better or worse. You don't get to decide which wheel you ride. It's part genetics, part environment, part personal choice and fortitude and part luck. We seemed to have good fortune on our side and for that I am eternally thankful.

I also have to mention the crazy amazing job Tee did with what circumstances she had. She took the rapid progression in stride. She was a baby delivering machine. Also, her endurance and mindset to accept the pain and not fight it was incredible to me. I had always suspected she was a tank and she proved it. I am truly grateful that she had a good pregnancy, delivery, and recovery. When we finally left the hospital an overwhelming feeling came over us both. Everything we had gone through and everything we had before us hit us at that very moment. And we tried to hold on to that feeling as long as we could. But as with all things, it faded away, but we remember it. And it changes your life forever. And it never felt so good to be home.